August, 2001

Health Stuff

It never ceases to amaze me, the amount of attractively packaged health type stuff that confronts one in general merchandise stores (K-Mart, Wal-Mart, other Marts), grocery stores (Kroger, Food land, Johnson's), pharmacy stores (Fruth, CVS, Holzer), where aisle after aisle, are stacked with elixirs, pads, ointments, salves, pills, capsules, creams, and a variety of other gooey and odoriferous substances. Phooey!

You can buy it and take it home and ... swallow it, spray it, rub it in, wipe it off, stick it on, pull it off, insert it, chew it, inject it, bathe in it, wear it, mix it with other stuff, sniff it, inhale it, or  install it in your shoes, armpits, or other.... places! Wow!

It promises to help you gain it, lose it, ease it, energize it, change it, alter it, enlarge it, shrink it, color it, remove it, add it, lighten it, stiffen it, relax it, grow it, reduce it, restore it, avoid it, acquire it, prevent it again it, moderate it, cessate it, loosen it, tighten it, beautify it, wake you up or  put you to sleep, Whew!

Of course, then comes the "legalistic" disclaimer (in very small print) which warns that the "stuff" will do none of the above! Huh!

Whatever happened to the "common sense" approach to good health... good food, fresh air, exercise, self-discipline, and involvement with kids. It's more efficacious, more fun, and a lot cheaper too!


- Bob Murphy