 |
December, 2002
Duct Tape
Truly, this is a "golden-age"...
a "golden age" of technological development and advancement.
What with electric lights, radio, television, computers, cars that talk
to us, orbiting space stations, man-on-the-moon, et al. It seems like
almost daily, we learn of some new item that comes along to amaze us,
to excite or challenge us... some new product or thing to titillate
our intellectual fancy or curiosity.
But, for my way of thinking, the most exciting and useful invention
of the 20th century was/is Duct Tape! Yep, Duct Tape!
Duct Tape is anywhere and everywhere; holding up, holding down, keeping
in, keeping out, holding together or holding apart. Some of the things
that I've seen Duct Tape used for in our part of the country include:
Household:
holding broken glass panes together, sealing out cold or wet weather
around windows, doors or loose siding, securing wall hangings, picking
up crumbs from the carpet, repairing window blinds, electrical cords,
TV antennas, mail boxes, ash trays, flower pots, broom handles and dust
pans. Gosh!
Automotive:
sealing around windshields, holding up bumpers, mufflers and tail pipes,
holding down hoods, side mirrors, doors and license plates, repairing
upholstery tears and floor mats, roof leaks and loose quarter panels,
to mention a few. Awesome!
Sports:
repairing broken or splintered bats, keeping socks up, sealing cracks
in helmets and shoulder pads, holding together split base markers, basketball
hoops and nets, hockey sticks, golf bags and soccer nets. One guy named
Eddie, I recently saw on the golf course, even had the head of his putter
taped to the shaft. Whew!
Lawn-n-Garden: bark protection for
small trees, repairs on shovels, rakes, hoes and even axes... step ladders,
lawn mower handles and grass catchers, wire fences, roof repairs to
the dog house and cracks in the kitty litter container. Phew!
Personal:
uses such as lint removal, securing loose shoe soles, patching raingear,
eyeglasses, cracked toe nails, watch bands, broken dentures, brush and
comb handles, repairs to notebooks, book bindings, flashlights, plastic
buckets, and even, (though painful), unwanted hair removal. The latest
though I haven't personally seen this but according to a recent issue
of the Columbus Dispatch, Duct Tape is now being used to remove warts.
(Modesty suggests that such use might depend upon the location of the
offending wart). Wow!
I am sure that our good Tribune readers could add immeasurably to this
rather modest list of Duct Tape usage, but I guess that the point of
all this has been to pay honor and respect to the premier invention
of the 20th Century... Duct Tape!
Perhaps, the next time the reader spots the Duct Tape display at the
local hardware department, he/she will pause a moment and offer a slight
obeisance!
- Bob Murphy
|
|
